Ok guys this was an idea i had and i think itll be of great fun to read and participate in:

Simply this is a thread where anyone can post their favorite quotes from drivers or anything racing related that they find funny that someone said-it can be an announcer or it can be something someone said in a post on here, or it can be your own quote-youll get the idea-ill update this everyday for a little bit until i run out of stuff-thats when the rest of you will have to help haha! So I hope you guys enjoy these!!!

first off-im goin to start with my guy Carl at his best on the chase is on after the win at Dover last year-heres the video lol:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bxQmhrpO33I&feature=PlayList&p=5FDA2B5440799BFB&index=121

Ok-heres the first little list-most of these wont have the video with it lol:

"Im 100 miles away son....ready to strike."-Loren Wallace

"When I hit the gas, it took off, then it stopped, it took off again, then it stopped."-Denny Hamlin-Atlanta Fall 2007

"Ladies and Gentlemen, we have lost a two year old child in Kyle Busch's left ear."-Brad Garrett before the start of the 2008 Auto Club 500

"It's hard not to pick on a guy when his ears are pinned back. My wife's looking at me like, 'you should really stop.' Nobody knew we were gonna have a comedy show today." -Kevin Harvick-on Kurt Busch's ear job.

"Why dont they just let me know what the penalty is for whoopin his a** after the race right now cause we're gonna get one of them too!"-Carl Edwards after getting taken out by Tony Stewart at Pocono-2006.

"Here comes Hillenburg like hes shot out of a canyon!"-Benny Parsons calling an Atlanta ARCA race in the late 90's.

"I ran quicker than then I did qualifying."-Ricky Rudd in reference to rushing to Ward Burton's aid after a wreck in qualifying at Darlington.

"Well thats just rude, it was his fault!"-Michael Waltrip in reference to Robby Gordon's helmet toss at New Hampshire.

"The caution was out, and he wrecked me, and hes a piece of ****!"-Robby Gordon on Michael Waltrip-New Hampshire.

"I got all the way up to 10th and I said well these 10 guys probably arent gonna wreck eachother-I guess I shoulda known better than that."-Michael Waltrip after flipping in a multi car wreck at Talladega-2005.

"I hope he chokes on that 200,000."-Darrell Waltrip after being spun out by Rusty Wallace in the All Star Race-1989.

"I was tryin desperately to knock the **** out of him I just couldnt catch him."-Rusty Wallace after Jeff Gordon put the bump and run on him at Bristol-2001.

"Ive never even run 500 miles on anything, not even on the computer game at home."-Elliott Sadler as a cup series rookie.

"I cant stand to drive these things, they suck."-Kyle Busch after winning the first ever COT race at Bristol in 2007.

"The crashes people remember, but drivers remember the near misses."-Mario Andretti.

"When I started racing my father told me, Cristiano, nobody has three b**** but some people have two very good ones."-former champ car and f1 driver Cristiano Da Matta.

"If you think the last 4 words of the national anthem are gentlemen, start your engines, you might be a redneck."-Jeff Foxworthy.

Last update for today-with a pic (credit to motorsport.com for it)

http://i131.photobucket.com/albums/p285/racecrazy/racingc3f-1.jpg

Here are a few favorites of mine, sorry if some are to inapropriate

"Oh, and not to mention taking a dump on the conrete" Alan Bestwick at a 2007 BUsch Series event after one of Carl Edwards crew members fell down

"Those cars are so good uh........ a monkey could drive them."-Clint Bowyer 2008 Daytona Night race in Nationwide series

" Oh and They Bang each other" MRN guys at Fall Martinsville race when Jr. and Montoya Got together

Here are some of my favorites:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vi6foybm_Ho“Needless to say I’ll buy my Irwin tools at Lowe’s.” - Jamie McMurray after getting wrecked by Tony Stewart at Phoenix in the fall of 2006


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=whTbJ0X7VPI“…but right now I’m not eating any Kellogg’s anytime soon.” - Kurt Busch after him and brother Kyle wrecked in the All-Star race in 2007

Love them all. I'll see what I can find also. :)

Ashley

"He said that I laughed about the situation, and when I laughed it p***** him off and that's why he did it. I said, 'Yeah, I did laugh. I thought it was funny that you were mad at me, because you wrecked me.'-Brian Vickers, Sonoma 2004 after Tony Stewart went after him

2006 Nascar.com Power Rankings
Daytona
When they announced the words “Tony,” “injured” and “chili bowl,” people must have figured he was hurt while eating. (Tony Stewart)

Las Vegas
Poor guy better not ever hope they race a Nextel Cup race in Mexico. That hair would never make it through customs in under an hour. Todd Bodine would have to practice the car for him. (Brian Vickers)


Ashley

Well this is one of my favorites.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0b7-kjJsfBM&feature=related
(http://s165.photobucket.com/albums/u72/cocacolaman_2007/NASCAR/Dale%20Earnhardt%20Jr/)

And of course.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gbTiGJ_ae-w&feature=related
(http://s165.photobucket.com/albums/u72/cocacolaman_2007/NASCAR/Dale%20Earnhardt%20Jr/)

This is another Stewart Classic

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dNibV0cc1yY&feature=related

I found these from Tony Stewart:

“I'm going to say this because I know my fans like my brutal honesty. Every year, all the competitors go out to the bar and try to get me drunk so I can't run the next day. It didn't work this time.”

“for a fat kid like me, it felt like Mount Everest.”

“I'm dying right now, ... Too tired to chase fences right now. Give me five minutes and I'll be ready.”

I'm too lazy to work my real job. I love what I do. I've been doing it for 26 years.”

““He's an idiot. (Biffle) They name streets after people like that - one-way and dead-end. I like the guy, we play poker together but if I found him right now, I'd strangle him.”

"If the 3 car was here, I don't think we would have the same problems in this series as we have," Stewart said. "He always had a way of letting drivers know where they stood and when to move and when not to move."

"There's going to be someone else dead if NASCAR keeps letting Good Year supply us with these junky tires"


"If you want a friend here, bring your dog." - Buddy Baker talking about racing at a restrictor plate track

"Need to tie some kerosene rags around his ankles so the ants don't eat his candy #$@" - Dale Earnhardt

By far the funniest quote in racing of all time, lol I believe he was talking about Mark Martin after a night race at Bristol...does anyone remember because I'm not for sure.....

that would be correct about who Earnhardt was talkin about lol. I think haha. Im not that old lol.

"Robby's got a little problem going faster under caution than he does under green."-Jeff Gordon-in reference to Robby Gordon.

"I couldnt hear him. Hes got that little yap-yap mouth, I couldnt tell what he was sayin."-Ricky Rudd in reference to Kevin Harvick.

"He's got a 10 foot ego and a 4 foot body, and it aint workin too good right now."-Mike Bliss in reference to Bobby Hamilton Jr.

"I feel like Ive got a pile of cattle chasing my a** and Im peddling as hard as I can to stay in front of them."-Rusty Wallace.

that would be correct about who Earnhardt was talkin about lol. I think haha. Im not that old lol.

LOL...well, I ain't that old either, unless 31 is considered old nowadays:sign0020:

haha yeah seems like anyone over 30 is considered really old anymore when its not the case-im still ayoung gun though lol (20).

Anyways-todays quote updates:

"the lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical."-F1 commentator Murray Walker.

"It's basically the same, just darker."-Alan Kulwicki-when asked the difference between saturday night races and sunday day races.

"It dont mean s*** right now....daddys won here 10 times."-Dale Jr in victory lane at Talladega.

"I feel safer on a racetrack than I do on Houston's freeways!"-AJ Foyt.

I've driven in Houston...no truer statement has been made then this one.




"I feel safer on a racetrack than I do on Houston's freeways!"-AJ Foyt.

My all time favorite Robby Gordon Quote....Robby on Michael Waltrip a sentiment I echo

"Ya know, Michael, everybody thinks Michael's this good guy. He's not the good guy like he acts he is. The caution was out and he wrecked me and he's a piece of (expletive)"

When asked about fans booing him:
"You'd rather have people like you than hate you, but right now it is what it is.
You might as well enjoy it, it's better than a kick in the nuts."---Kyle Busch

Well .....yes it is.

sorry I havent been updatin in a while lol-been busy-anyways found this little gem from Carl on today's debacle in Indy:

"Yes, it's Goodyear's fault." "But everybody makes mistakes. I don't give a **** to race 10 laps at a time but I'm sure we won't see this again here."

Thought I would post a bunch of entertainin stuff tonight for you guys-its been a little while:

"Aerodynamics are for people who cannot build engines".-Enzo Ferrari

"Horsepower has this tendency to break things. If you're not breaking anything you're not going fast enough."-annonymous.

"Racing is the process of turning money into noise."-unknown.

"I wouldn't get outta' the electric chair to drive that thing". -Buddy Baker commenting on a bad driving car while announcing.

More later.

"That's the most fun Ive had with my clothes on in a long time."-Carl Edwards after driving through the field to finish 4th at Mexico City-2008.

update time!

"the car was stuck like glue until I crashed!"-unknown

"Turbochargers are for people who cant build engines."-Keith Duckworth

"If you don't cheat, you look like an idiot; if you cheat and don't get caught, you look like a hero; if you cheat and get caught, you look like a dope. Put me where I belong."-Darrell Waltrip

"Dale Earnhardt Jr could sell a chocolate popsicle to a woman in a white dress."-Kyle Busch

Me, Shayne, and Stephen were talkin on AIM and Shayne gave us a GOOD laugh..

Stephen: Its Carl's birthday today! (29)
Shayne: He's gettin old!
Stephen: If he stays in good shape he can race when he's old. Like Mark Martin.
Shayne: Lets hope he doesnt shrivel up like Mark Martin.

:sign0020:

In no way was she making fun of Mark Martin or anything...things like that just come out of her mouth...lol.

Ashley

Some from the Bristol Night Race-always good for some quotes!

"No! Im NOT apologizing. If I had to do it again id probably hit him harder!"-Carl Edwards on bumping Kyle Busch to take the lead.

"I bet the fans are going mental."-Greg Biffle in response to the post race fireworks between Busch and Edwards.

and of course the best quote of the night from Clint Bowyer after Michael Waltrip was involved in a big wreck in front of him.

"Michael Waltrip is the worst driver in Nascar, period. I cant believe Napa re-signed with him."

Small Update-Stuff from Carls call in to WDEZ this morning:

Carl was in NY this morning-little story from him about last night LOL:

"I was in my hotel last night and rented a movie, and ya know...it was a normal movie-laughter follows haha. "Well ya know you always check out all the movies-see whats out there. (I found it funny as did the radio DJs that Carl said a "normal movie" hahaha.

When asked about his probation:

"Its only 5 more weeks than I can act like a total idiot again."

A few more for ya!

"I tell ya what-heres the deal, I put tabasco on my eggs this morning, and this red flag couldnt have come at a better time-cause i gotta go to the bathroom."-Darrell Waltrip in 1998 while driving the tabasco car under a red flag.

"I dont know if Tony was mad or what, but needless to say Ill buy my Irwin Tools at Lowes."-Jamie McMurray after getting wrecked by tony stewart at Phoenix.

"I always said Greg Biffle was a good guy, but hes about the most impatient thing,Ill be waitin for him when he comes in here."-Kevin Harvick after getting wrecked in the Busch race at Bristol (ane he umm did meet him afterwords haha)

Here is one more:

"But you’re really good looking guys. (audience reacts) Well not like that!" ~ Jamie McMurray to the band on Dover Downs Is Cooking in 2006

~~~Carl Edwards~~~
Well, it works in the video game....
:pound::pound::pound:

Best quote I've heard in a long time was from Cy Harvey, a Legend car driver at last years Banquet when accepting his championship trophy:

"I'd personally like to apologize to all the drivers I've passed after the green flag over the past forty years, real sorry."

"Here Kitty Kitty Kitty!" -Tony Stewart

From when I was racing at a little track in New Hampshire......"Just hold it to the floor until you see God, then turn LEFT!" Man, I had such a good time back then.

Howdy,

If ya dont win, you may as well be last..

The Tyrant

It may not be from a real race, but this is my favorite racing quote.

Harry Hogge: While we're still under a caution, I want you to go back out on that track and hit the pace car.

Cole Trickle: Hit the pace car?

Harry Hogge: Hit the pace car.

Cole Trickle: What for?

Harry Hogge: Because you've hit every other g-d thing out there and I want you to be perfect...

Brad Keselowski - 2009 - NNS - Dover Spring
~"That's how we roll!"

Brad Keselowski - 2009 - NSCS - Talladega Spring
~"NASCAR's still cool!"

This thread needs updating-i got lots of quotes to put in here ha.

"Cole, go flip his spotter off, go tell his spotter to...whatever-you know what i mean, i mean dont mean flip him off"-Kasey Kahne to his spotter

"You can say c*********r on TV, I didnt know that"-Michael Waltrip

"What the F*** was that!"-Kyle Petty at Sonoma on the radio on National broadcast

"You throw a rock, im gonna throw a concrete block back"-Denny Hamlin in reference to Brad Keselowski-2008

"Hes just a little girl about it"-Steve Wallace in reference to a get together with Kyle Busch

"Hes a frickin idiot-could of caused a huge wreck, what a moron"-Juan Pablo Montoya about David Ragan at Talladega

"I came here to race not to frickin cruise, H*** NO!"-Juan Pablo Montoya to crew chief after being told to let a car pass him.

"Sometimes you just have to spank that monkey, and knock him off, and thats what i did on Sunday"-Michael Waltrip on TWIN (LOL)

"Id give you the finger if I didnt have a camera in here"-Carl Edwards to crew chief Bob Osborne.

"I knew id be okay I wore my Kenny Wallace shirt today"-Ken Schrader after an accident.

"A monkey could win in that car....not even testin their talents right now"-Clint Bowyer in reference to the JGR Nationwide cars.

"We broke something, I think it was traction"-Carl Edwards after getting spun out by Dale Jr at Michigan

"I dont know, I guess the little guy couldnt see over the steering wheel"-Steve Wallace after getting wrecked by Jason Leffler.

Jimmy Spencer to Jimmie Johnson:

"Ya know, 4 in a row maybe, explain to me, ya know, how do you get it up"?

Jimmie Johnson:

"Did you just ask me how am I gonna get it up"?-followed by rampant laughter from Kenny Wallace LOLOL

"I actually paid the guy 10 bucks to do that"-Ryan Pemberton-crew chief for Brian Vickers after 47 crewmember brought out caution for retrieving tire from the infield at Atlanta

"I dont know some dummy just ran into the back of us and wrecked us again!"-Mark Martin after an accident.

"Goodyear cant build a tire thats worth a crap"-Tony Stewart

"Imagine that! Every D*** time, same guy"-Clint Bowyer in reference to Michael Waltrip

"Kyle youre gonna wreck us all dude, the tracks too F****** wide for that S***"-Denny Hamlin radioing to teammate Kyle Busch

Greg Biffle-"what the F*** is up with this 13?"
Spotter-"hes clueless, he races in other countries, hes not supposed to be here"

"I got some really good words fo him but I cant say em on TV, I wish I had something I could of shot through the D*** window"-Ward Burton after being wrecked by Dale Jr

"I wanted to kill AJ Allmendinger and Juan Pablo first for being stupid"-Tony Stewart

Carl Edwards after being penalized at Daytona-"Theres no way in H***, im not pulling in" "were not penalized, cause were not pullin in" "Im not coming, its wrong!"

Bob Osborne-"COME DOWN PIT ROAD NOW CARL!"

Carl-"Im sorry buddy, I gotta draw the line there, sorry man"

and he never came in lol-pulled his scorecard

"If a wheel comes off and I hit the fence real hard....I get to whack every D*** one of you with a hammer"-Dale Jr

"The kids an idiot"-Tony Stewart on David Gilliland

"Of course, had to be a Bodine"-Jeff Green after getting wrecked by Todd Bodine

"Mr. Bill France Sr probably rollin over in his grave seein that deal"-Dale Earnhardt Sr after 2000 Daytona 500

"Kurt Busch got his head up his...whatever"-Greg Biffle on Kurt Busch

"Hes got a bald crew guy down there, wants to jump up there and be Billy Bad Butt"-Tony Stewart on David Reutimann

18 Spotter "Did he do that to you"

Kyle Busch response dripped in sarcasm "No, I did it to myself A*****!"

"Jimmy Spencer never forgets"-Jimmy Spencer

"What a Dumb***! All he had to do was just stay in line"-Kyle Busch on David Ragan

"Jimmy Smith can kiss my ***"-Brendan Gaughan

"Obviously im not important enough in this sport, like Dale Jr, to have my own cameraman, but youll have that in this big league form of racing"-Kyle Busch doing an interview for TV while the camera is on Dale Jrs car.

"Yeah GD we beat that little Son of a B****"-Mike Skinner after beating Jeff Gordon to win in Japan.

"It involved me and about 10 sticks of dynamite"-Dale Jr in response to being asked about his first experience at Darlington Raceway.

"Dont smack me in the helmet, you smack me in the helmet im gonna punch you in the face, bottom line"-Denny Hamlin about Kyle Petty

"I gave him the whole bottom lane and he knocked the S*** outta me thats what happened"-Dale Earnhardt Sr

"They gotta fine that sumb**** and sit him out the rest of the year"-Dale Earnhardt Sr

"Hes just being an idiot, just bein Kevin"-Joe Nemechek in reference to Kevin Harvick

"He can take that and shove it where the shun dont shine baby"-Kevin Harvick in reference to Joe Nemechek

"Hes pretty fat and outta shape, thats probably half the reason why he caused the wreck, probably pretty worn out"-Kasey Kahne on David Stremme

"I believe if it was me, id take these pedals and shove them up somebody's a** so far..."-Kevin Harvick after not liking his pedal configuration in the car

"Id crash my mom to win my first race"-Mike Skinner

"If he touches me again im gonna frickin knock his head off"-Jeff Gordon in reference to Denny Hamlin

"S***! Sorry, didnt mean to yell in your ear"-Chad Knaus to Jimmie Johnson off pit lane.

"I dont give a F*** how fast it ran, still a piece of S***"-Kevin Harvick about his car after being told hes running as fast as the leader

"The Mexican ran over me"-David Reutimann on Juan Pablo Montoya

"Robbys a good talented racecar driver its just when you put that box over your head you cant suffocate yourself"-Ward Burton on Robby Gordon

"Its the last F_______ pitstop, every F________ time I F________come to this F________ racetrack, YALL SUCK!"-Kyle Busch yelling at his NNS crew after letting a tire get away at Bristol

"Im the guy that caused the wreck, but ya know, get over it!"-Juan Pablo Montoya

"Reutimanns a good name for him cause he will root a man right out of the way"-Ryan Newman on David Reutimann

"You cant fix stupid, its forever"-Joey Logano on Robby Gordon

"Brian Vickers Rules, WOO"-Tony Stewart interrupting Brians interview on Nascar Raceday"

"If the second place guy "dumps"-quote un quote, the leader, black flag his A**"-Kyle Busch

"Biffles an idiot, hes the most impatient son of a....ill be waitin for him when he comes in"-Kevin Harvick

"I am so sorry I forgot it was the Kyle Busch show, h*** I thought we were racing for a win"-Brian Vickers

Carl Edwards on being asked how to beat Jimmie Johnson-

"I was thinking about going to play some Frisbee with him this afternoon." (LOL)

A nice Carl Edwards quote....

“I’m not going to wreck Jimmie and I don’t think anyone else is. The way those guys run, you’d spin him out, he’d back into a wall, they’d fix the car up and he’d win anyway.”

A nice Carl Edwards quote....

“I’m not going to wreck Jimmie and I don’t think anyone else is. The way those guys run, you’d spin him out, he’d back into a wall, they’d fix the car up and he’d win anyway.”

LOL yep-at least Carl tells it like it is haha-its about the truth ha.

Stephen will LOVE this!
"I like Brad, I just have to go talk to him'' Carl Edwards after NNS @ Memphis

Stephen will LOVE this!
"I like Brad, I just have to go talk to him'' Carl Edwards after NNS @ Memphis

If he wants to race like that Carl's fine with it-but he better not be complaining when he ends up on the hook at some point after contact from the 10000000 people hes made mad already-Allgaier, Carl, Mike Bliss, Denny, etc......LOL

If he wants to race like that Carl's fine with it-but he better not be complaining when he ends up on the hook at some point after contact from the 10000000 people hes made mad already-Allgaier, Carl, Mike Bliss, Denny, etc......LOL

I know what you mean. Denny and Carl I think he just wrecked. Mike Bliss, I'm not sure what happened with him, but Allgaier wrecked himself. Watch the replay, Brad held his ground and Justin wanted it. He did the same thing at Bristol with Brad.

If he wants to race like that Carl's fine with it-but he better not be complaining when he ends up on the hook at some point after contact from the 10000000 people hes made mad already-Allgaier, Carl, Mike Bliss, Denny, etc......LOL

But I forgot. Carl, he still finished 6th.

But I forgot. Carl, he still finished 6th.

idk how-new tires, great driver lol-cause the car was destroyed!!!!! Tow was knocked out major.

I know what you mean. Denny and Carl I think he just wrecked. Mike Bliss, I'm not sure what happened with him, but Allgaier wrecked himself. Watch the replay, Brad held his ground and Justin wanted it. He did the same thing at Bristol with Brad.

i didnt see the race today, but the Allgaier/Brad deal at bristol is plain as day, Keso ran out of talent. Allgaier had the car to beat, Brad just couldnt keep the car straight and took him out, he even admitted it after the race as it being his falut.

I liked Jeff Gordon's quote after that last lap wreck...

"The good news is that after running out of gas, we were able to get back out there so I could wreck my race car."

"The wires and media will be all over that one, Jimmie Johnson led a practice"~Dale Jarrett during todays Nationwide series broadcast (not sure if i got it perfect)

Some quoting brilliance from Denny Hamlin after the latest Keso/Hamlin run-in haha.

“I just wanted to say [to Keselowski], ‘Hey, look, you wreck me at Watkins Glen last year, you wreck me at Dover this year, you force me into the three-wide wreck at California, how many times have I wrecked you? Zero. Never have I wrecked you. Until I get back in a Nationwide car,’” Hamlin said after the meeting.

“It’s a self-policing garage. NASCAR doesn’t want to get in the middle of it. ... If it’s the opinion of me or maybe one other guy, then, hey, maybe it’s me. But every driver in the garage comes up to me and says, ‘That guy is a complete whack job.’ Not everyone is wrong and he’s right. And the thing is, he says, ‘What do you want me to say?’ I say, ‘You don’t want to say you're sorry? Nothing? It’s cool?’ And he says, ‘I’m cool.’ And I said, ‘All right, we’re cool then.’”

Obviously, Hamlin didn’t seem too thrilled with the conversation with Keselowski.

“I could talk to this … concrete right here and it would talk back more,” Hamlin said.