By Linda Mankefors 

Reading the October issue of Beckett’s multisport magazine, I got two giggle moments. First one, when I noticed they actually cut up the racing shoes from race drivers to put on cards. Perhaps there’s no difference from cutting up skates, but skates are very much mentally connected to their sport (hockey), while shoes don’t exactly bring to mind any sort of racing. As I was thinking “what will they cut up next?” I saw the cut cards with one piece of hair from historical figures like Lincoln or Napoleon.

Strangely I’ve missed this new big hobby news. I know they cut up Hollywood stars’ shirts, and even hand out pieces of Janis Joplin’s clothes; I had to read again to see if my eyes lied. Sure enough, there’s one piece of hair from former emperor Napoleon. I won’t even start imagining how they got hold of that piece of hair, if they violated any laws, or at least moral laws getting hold of (have they never heard of the expression “rest in peace”?), or if it’s even authentic.

Weird hobby phenomena are lurking about at the moment, Phelps (oooh his swimsuit, anybody? Bring your scissors) topping the Football card hot list, to Phaneuf’s recent status upswing thanks to dating Elisha Cuthbert.

But who in their right mind wants a piece of hair from anybody? Who, in their normal right mind I should say, as they’re always very strange creatures hanging around, who wants anything from Michelle Pfeiffer’s underwear (if she had any), to Bobby Orr’s game used socks (nice smell!).

But wait, maybe we do. Henrik Lundqvist’s hair, hmmm…. I might prefer to sniff that instead of a tiny piece of supposedly game used material. I’m having difficulties mentally connecting to these game used pieces as they seem to be washed, and thus taking away the physical contact from the athlete. A piece of his hair would indeed be a nice trophy. Hair contains his DNA, I could clone him, one clone already exists in his twin, couldn’t his hair give us one more? My personal sla… oh alright let’s step away from my fantasies.

They do need imagination to come up with new angles though. I wrote to Upper Deck giving them a chance to explain this “used” craziness, but they’re still giving me the cold treatment (ever since I asked them about their decision to print the cardboard for hockey boxes in un-democratic China they’re slightly ticked off).

I should help them, let’s see, game used pants? Anybody? Single color but could be thrilling. Game used boards… no been there, were as popular as handing out Daigle rookie cards in a prize contest today.

Maybe something from hockey player’s golf club, as pretty much everyone plays it. Or the car Mr. superstar drives in. Or his vacation Hawaiian shirt would make very nice patches. No?

I’m waiting for the sequel, surely they can go further.

In the meantime I’m going to dream up a plot to get hold of Henrik’s hair. Shhh, don’t tell anyone.