Voice of the 'Fan

PT Barnum once said that "a sucker is born every minute". Apparently, not enough of them were watching Monday Night Raw from Los Angeles on Memorial Day.

Determined to embarass the NBA at all costs, WWE owner Vince McMahon hired actors to impersonate NBA commissioner David Stern, Lakers owner Jerry Buss, and movie legend/Lakers superfan Jack Nicholson, and local ring announcer Troy Stone was recruited to masquerade as Denver Nuggets owner E. (for Enos) Stanley Kroenke. This show-opening skit ran nearly 15 minutes, or 10 minutes too long. Par for the course for McMahon's team of scribblers, who have a habit of overextending the simplest of points. Buss & McMahon must be good friends, though, because McMahon was able to get the Lakers' PA announcer to do the intros for the 10-man tag team main event, which saw Randy Orton, Ted DiBiase, Jr., Mike "The Miz" Mizanin, Cody Rhodes, & the Big Show dressed in Nuggets uniforms, while Dave Batista, John Cena, Montel V. Porter (MVP), Jerry Lawler, & Ken Kennedy were attired in Laker unis. Porter, fittingly, was given Kobe Bryant's number (24), and pinned Rhodes to win the match. Unfortunately for McMahon, the real Lakers didn't fare quite as well, as Denver evened the series at 2-2, with LA coming back two nights later to retake the lead at 3 games to 2.

Worse for the notoriously petty & vindictive McMahon, Lakers-Nuggets drew more than double the ratings for Raw. See what happens when you pick a fight with the big leagues?

Ex-baseball star-turned-author Jose Canseco decided to try mixed martial arts by entering a tournament in Japan. Big mistake. Proving once again that he's only in it for 1) the money and 2) extending what's left of his fifteen minutes of post-baseball fame, Canseco was beaten in under two minutes by a 7'+ Korean fighter. Clearly, Jose had learned absolutely nothing from boxing actor-radio personality-part-time wrestler Danny Bonaduce (they went to a draw) or ex-NFL player Vai Sikahema (who routed Canseco in one round as well). In fact, Canseco is lucky he didn't sign on to fight any of the bigger names in MMA, like Chuck Liddell or ex-WWE stars Bobby Lashley or Brock Lesnar. A fight with any of those three would've had the same result.

Here's a piece of advice, Jose. If either Jeff Jarrett or Vince McMahon invites you to appear at one of their PPV's, turn them down. You don't need to embarass yourself again or tarnish what little dignity you have left.