Asperger Syndrome

[WilyWestbrook0]

Anyone here have it, or know someone who does?

I've suspected it for several years now, and I finally found someone local who specializes in it for diagnosis. After the first meeting, she is leaning toward it - not just based on my own self-reported symptoms, but also on things I didn't realize I had (monotone voice, odd posture while sitting, etc.) - and will give further evaluation on Monday night. She also wants to give me an official IQ test though I've already done one through Mensa (you can take a test that gives you an IQ range for $18 on their web site).

No one knew what this was growing up. I thought I was just a nerd. Academics were always fine, I was pretty reserved, and no one ever thought I was anything but just nerdy and a little odd. However, I've had all kinds of problems adjusting to the social aspect of employment expectations, and especially multi-tasking (which women are supposed to be good at), things I've been repeatedly told should come naturally especially given my advanced education, etc., so I figured something had to be up for such problems to keep occurring.

Please note that not all Aspies are trainspotters or what-have-you. The profile can also be more subtle, especially in women.

[ajcorleone]

First off sorry to hear that and I hope you can cope with it. My friend has a son who is 26 and he has it. I have to be honest I don't know much about the disease but I would not have known unless my buddy had told me. First few times I met his son and interacted with him not any issues. But apparently he does have problems making friends and getting into a social environment. Again just going by what he tells me.

[WilyWestbrook0]

Thanks. Yeah, I'm coping. My job possibilities are undoubtedly lower because of it, but there are still some I can do, and the ability to focus on details actually makes me better at certain job facets that bore most others who don't have the same tendencies.

As for relationships, I have my fiance. I have never spent much time hanging out, and indeed have never had any friends where I recall doing that more than twice, but this is actually less bothersome than employment problems for me, because at least I have the one stable relationship. That's probably all humans really need. Fun and hanging out is overrated.

It may also interest you to know that those with AS can interact relatively normally one-on-one, so not surprised you couldn't tell your friend's son had it. When pressure, speed, and more expansive social interactions become a factor, though, it's more noticeable. Short term memory is particularly affected in AS. Most working environments are nothing like school - you can't be quiet, obedient, and focused intently on just one thing; stuff is happening everywhere, and you have to constantly interact and jump from thing to thing.

[Wickabee]

I'm not aware of ever knowing anyone with AS. I went to school with a fully autistic kid for a year, but that's about it (and I didn't get to know him all that well).

It's been suggested I am borderline AS, but the second I was diagnosed with MS that notion went out the window. MS often causes social anxiety that looks, to the educated onlooker, a lot like AS (to the uneducated it's just "weird loner syndrome"). I can have amazing conversations one on one, but in a group setting (without alcohol to quell my inhibitions) I melt myself into the background and end up looking like the unpopular kid hanging outside the cool circle. My phone ringing puts the fear of god into me, and if I'm making the call, I have to spend 30-45 minutes rehearsing and gathering my nerve. I'm perfectly happy with my wife and child, any future children, the rest of my family, and no one else for the rest of my life. It sounds great, actually. But there is a part of me that craves social interaction despite all this.

I was, as you describe, perfectly fine focusing solely on academics in school. Straight As through grade 4. In grade 5, though, I somehow landed high on the chain in the " it" group. Since then, I want to be alone, but I like people too much.

Another side effect of this is that I'm great with animals. I grew up in a rural area on a sort-of-farm with a goat and some chickens. We had dogs and cats all the time too, and my German heritage is mostly in farming. I got used to animals and found I understood them better than people. To this day, when I walk into a house with a "cat from hell don't go near him or he'll rip your face off", I can generally have that cat purring on my lap in 5-10 minutes. Dogs I'm not as good with, but they're more like people, so it stands to reason. Farm animals are really easy.

Social anxiety sucks, but there are upsides too. It was nothing for me to lock myself in my bedroom for a weekend and listen to all the music I could. When I was in high school and minor hockey teams wanted music at their games (ie: someone to lock himself in a booth, watch hockey, and play music all weekend) I turned my favourite activity into a nice source of income for a 16-18 year old. I was able to raise my price when I quickly realized that, while I have trouble talking to one person i cant see, who can respond, with a phone, I have no problem talking to 100 people I can sort of see, who cant respond, with a microphone, and began announcing as well. That was great, as it meant I got the whole booth to myself while I " worked".

Basically, I see my situation as something I need to adjust for because society, and everyone has one of those. No one is " perfect" and we all make adjustments outside our comfort zones for the sake of society.

[WilyWestbrook0]

Very well-said!