View Full Version : Better names for the NBA's awards

04-07-2008, 05:23 PM
The league seems to give nice, idealized names to its awards, when everyone knows exactly what th real spirit behind them is. And that spirit is this:

MVP: The "We're Pretending You're Michael Jordan" Award
Defensive Player: The "You Still Can't Score for Crap" Award
Rookie: The "Please, Pretty Please Live Up to All the Hype We Gave You" Award
Most Improved: The "Congratulations, You Suck Slightly Less Than You Did Last Year" Award
Sixth Man: The "151st Most Valuable Player" Award
Coach: The "We're Just Rubbing it in for Not Giving You Any Awards When You Were a Player" Award
Sportsmanship: The "Spends More Time at Publicity Shoots Than on the Court" Award

And while we're at it, I think the league should add these awards:

The "Being Kobe and/or LeBron" Award (which is curiously a tie every year)
Flop of the Year, aka the Bill Laimbeer Award
Lowest Ratio of Productivity-to-Salary Trophy
The Bruce Bowen Award for Cheap Shots
Three-Point Shooting, Defensively Challenged White Guy of the Year
Depraved Attention of the Year, aka the Dennis Rodman Award
The Wilt Chamberlain Unapologetic Promiscuity Award

04-08-2008, 09:14 AM
That is funny. The MVP and Most Improved are my favorites

04-08-2008, 11:22 AM
Very funny. Did you write those?

04-08-2008, 11:29 AM
haha, yeah, did you write them? I like the Most Improved best.

04-08-2008, 11:57 AM
Yes I did write them. I find that cynicism and sports go well together.

04-08-2008, 08:41 PM
lol...this is funny!

04-09-2008, 02:09 PM
Yes I did write them. I find that cynicism and sports go well together.

You should do more of that stuff. this is very fun to read. You have a great imagination