Poor Trading Etiquette??

[msriflegirl]

I hope this is the appropriate section for this thread. I need the opinion of the community on this scenario. Please excuse the long post/rant, but I really would like some feedback.


The scenario:
A site member posted a new thread offering a few cards for trade. I saw three that I was interested in and replied. He apparently checked my bucket, sent me a PM and replied to the thread. I made him an offer which he DECLINED. He then made a counter offer and we began a long process of trying to negotiate this trade.

in my post here:
https://www.sportscardforum.com/showthread.php?t=597601

you said you want all obamas, i have 3 obamas and heres what i liked from your bucket:

kearns patch
d. cabrera auto
e. santana auto
m. teixara auto


i could do the 3 obamas for the kearns patch and teixara auto or the cabrera, santana, and kearns patch for it, if not counter it up

lmk

How about Cabrera for the PP-4 (Obama/Dye)?

well the pp-4 books at 25, i could do it for the teixara auto, and the kearns patch, i would throw in the other 2 obamas too

The PP4 books at $12 (Beckett Baseball Plus, October/Nov Issue, Page 264). The magazine formally known as Tuff Stuff books it at $10, so I know you weren't getting the values from either of those. Perhaps you were looking at the pricing for PP7 (the only one in that set to book at $25).

ooo, srry mix up....how about the obama for the teixara auto?

I am going to have to decline. Thanks.

It appeared that we would not be able to work out a trade, so I tried to end the negotiations. He makes another series of offers. I decline each one and again try to end the negotiations.

lets try again lol

i could do the krod jsy

I am just going to pass. Thanks for your time.

After this PM, I thought we were through. But wait! He PM's me again:

lets try again lol

i could do the krod jsy

I am just going to pass. Thanks for your time.

well i guess i could do the obama for the cabrera as you proposed...

Now this is the very first offer I made, which he declined. I have already ended negotiations (twice!). Before I even get a chance to reply to that message, he sends me this one:

i guess ill post up what you offered

And then he posts the trade. Let me remind you that I have not agreed to this. I consider the previous offer I made DEAD because he declined it and I ended negotiations. IMO, any offers are a part of a new negotiation and need to be considered and agreed upon by both traders before the trade is posted. Before I get a chance to reply to either of his messages or the trade request, he posts this in his original thread:

Well, it seems she backed out on the trade

™™™...of course, this gets me a little heated. Not only did he take it upon himself to create a trade I didnt want (he declined the initial offer, and I subsequently ended negotiations), he would post this statement which might suggest to users that I am not a good trader and that I might back out of trade agreements. I tried to explain this to him, but apparently he doesnt get it.

I may be overreacting, and if I am wrong, I have no problem admitting that and apologizing to the guy. I dont think this is the case. I want your opinion...please let me know what you think.

[palantri]

you didnt do anything wrong- the only thing i would recommend for the future, is, if you end negotiations like you did, and the other person keeps PMing you, dont reply, and if they keep sending you PMs, report them to a moderator as harassment
Ed

[OnePimpTiger]

Yeah, no fault on your side, it's on them. After they said "well i guess i could do the obama for the cabrera as you proposed...", they should have waited for a response before posting it up. I can see how they would assume you would do that trade since you had previously proposed it, but there was no confirmation on your end so the trade should not have been posted.

[Topps A+G]

I agree. Completely not your fault. My advice is to only to haggle or negotiate with people you like or trust.

[msriflegirl]

Thanks everyone for the feedback and the advice. I will be much more careful about with whom I propose a trade.

[bostonsoxandy]

Well, In My Defense I think i should have a say....after she said thanks for your time a will pass i only through 1 more offer up, not "a series more" as she put...and then i waited 2 days for the response before i decided to post it up. And you did sorta back out from the trade since you just decided to be totally involved, and then you just end it for no reason when we were so close....a complete waste of a week for me really : (

[msriflegirl]

Well, In My Defense I think i should have a say....after she said thanks for your time a will pass i only through 1 more offer up, not "a series more" as she put...and then i waited 2 days for the response before i decided to post it up. And you did sorta back out from the trade since you just decided to be totally involved, and then you just end it for no reason when we were so close....a complete waste of a week for me really : (

Ok...so maybe it isnt done. When I mentioned "a series more" I was referring to the time between my initial ending of the negotiation and the second ending of the negotiation (that seemed very clear from the flow of the initial thread post). Between that time you made 3 offers:

in my post here:
https://www.sportscardforum.com/showthread.php?t=597601

you said you want all obamas, i have 3 obamas and heres what i liked from your bucket:

kearns patch
d. cabrera auto
e. santana auto
m. teixara auto


i could do the 3 obamas for the kearns patch and teixara auto or the cabrera, santana, and kearns patch for it, if not counter it up

lmk

How about Cabrera for the PP-4 (Obama/Dye)?

well the pp-4 books at 25, i could do it for the teixara auto, and the kearns patch, i would throw in the other 2 obamas too

The PP4 books at $12 (Beckett Baseball Plus, October/Nov Issue, Page 264). The magazine formally known as Tuff Stuff books it at $10, so I know you weren't getting the values from either of those. Perhaps you were looking at the pricing for PP7 (the only one in that set to book at $25).

ooo, srry mix up....how about the obama for the teixara auto?

I am going to have to decline. Thanks.

i guess i could do the obama for the cabrera and a common GU like a nomar jsy? lmk

I declined this offer and you replied:

in my post here:
https://www.sportscardforum.com/showthread.php?t=597601

you said you want all obamas, i have 3 obamas and heres what i liked from your bucket:

kearns patch
d. cabrera auto
e. santana auto
m. teixara auto


i could do the 3 obamas for the kearns patch and teixara auto or the cabrera, santana, and kearns patch for it, if not counter it up

lmk

How about Cabrera for the PP-4 (Obama/Dye)?

well the pp-4 books at 25, i could do it for the teixara auto, and the kearns patch, i would throw in the other 2 obamas too

The PP4 books at $12 (Beckett Baseball Plus, October/Nov Issue, Page 264). The magazine formally known as Tuff Stuff books it at $10, so I know you weren't getting the values from either of those. Perhaps you were looking at the pricing for PP7 (the only one in that set to book at $25).

ooo, srry mix up....how about the obama for the teixara auto?

I am going to have to decline. Thanks.

i guess i could do the obama for the cabrera and a common GU like a nomar jsy? lmk

This one??

[photo deleted]

It books for $20...can't do that one...sorry...

ok...how about this one:

http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v3...t=100_1074.jpg

if it works post it up

When I informed you that one had been traded, you made another offer:

in my post here:
https://www.sportscardforum.com/showthread.php?t=597601

you said you want all obamas, i have 3 obamas and heres what i liked from your bucket:

kearns patch
d. cabrera auto
e. santana auto
m. teixara auto


i could do the 3 obamas for the kearns patch and teixara auto or the cabrera, santana, and kearns patch for it, if not counter it up

lmk

How about Cabrera for the PP-4 (Obama/Dye)?

well the pp-4 books at 25, i could do it for the teixara auto, and the kearns patch, i would throw in the other 2 obamas too

The PP4 books at $12 (Beckett Baseball Plus, October/Nov Issue, Page 264). The magazine formally known as Tuff Stuff books it at $10, so I know you weren't getting the values from either of those. Perhaps you were looking at the pricing for PP7 (the only one in that set to book at $25).

ooo, srry mix up....how about the obama for the teixara auto?

I am going to have to decline. Thanks.

i guess i could do the obama for the cabrera and a common GU like a nomar jsy? lmk

This one??

[picture deleted]

It books for $20...can't do that one...sorry...

ok...how about this one:

http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v3...t=100_1074.jpg

if it works post it up

I would do that one but its gone...it must not be meant for me to have that card...lol...

lets try again lol

i could do the krod jsy

After this offer, I made my final attempt to decline further negotiations. That is when you bought up the inital offer and proceded to do what I described in the initial post.

...and then i waited 2 days for the response before i decided to post it up. And you did sorta back out from the trade since you just decided to be totally involved, and then you just end it for no reason when we were so close....a complete waste of a week for me really : (

The fact that I didnt respond (coupled with the fact that I told you that I no longer wished to negotiate) should have been a HUGE RED FLAG that I no longer wished to negotiate (there is that common sense again). You took it upon yourself to post the trade (you admitted this in the post quoted).

I did not back out of anything. You only say that to try to make yourself not look ignorant...unfortunately your post did just the opposite. Thank you for closing the case for me.

[OnePimpTiger]

Guys, we're not going to have an argument here in the thread. If you have issues with each other, take that up privately. I understand it's fair to hear both sides of the stories, but this isn't the place for he said/she said and going back and forth at each other. If you need help settling the situation, you can place the trade in dispute and have a mod help you out. Opinions have been given on the OP's original question, so I'm going to shut down the thread before it gets out of hand.