APPROPRIATE jokes

[Nairb06]

lets see who knows some funny jokes. Remeber to keep it CLEAN (no racist jokes)

heres one to start off the thread. ill post more as i rethink all of my old jokes lol.

What do the World Series and a bear on birth control have in common?
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No Cubbies

lol, thats all i got for now. Lets here yours.

[garnett_21]

That's funny! I have a ton of great jokes, but most are lengthy to type up, so I'll start with a short one:

The Dangers of Switching Jobs

A passenger in a taxi tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him something. The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus, drove up over the curb and stopped just inches from a large plate glass window. For a few moments, everything was silent in the cab. Then the driver said, "Please, don't ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me." The passenger, who was also quite frightened, apologized and said he didn't realize that a tap on the shoulder could frighten him so much, to which the driver replied, "I'm sorry, it's really not your fault at all. Today is my first day driving a cab. I have been driving a hearse for the last 25 years."

[tutall]

what do you call 4 mexican bullfighters in quick sand?
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Quatro Cinco

[AFutureLonghorn94]

OP:Knock,Knock
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Reader: Whos There?
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OP:Amy Fisher
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Reader: Amy-
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OP:BANG!

[Glebe]

A baby seal walked into a club.

[Oxxon]

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?






It was dead.

Why did the little girl fall from the swing?





She had no arms.

[Aikman_TheGreat]

(clean) can we have sexist jokes? Just curious

What about other stereotypical jokes?

[Glebe]

nvm I don't want to be B&

[bolts21]

why doesnt Iowa have a football team?



























because Minnesota would want one too!

[rchurchward]

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?


One's plastic and dangerous for kids to play with and the other carries groceries.



A guy walks into the bar and sees this guy sitting there with this tiny man playing the piano. He walks up to the guy and says "Wow where did you get that little man?" The guy pulls out this magic lamp and states that if you rub the lamp and whisper into it, you'll get your wish come true. The guy takes the lamp home with him and decides to try it out himself. He takes the lamp, remembering what the guy said about whispering into it, and rubs the lamp and whispers "I want a million bucks." At that very second, a million mallard ducks show up in his house. Feeling disappointed with the lamp, he takes it back to the bar and finds the guy there again with his little man, playing the piano still. He goes up to him and says, "This lamp is defective. I asked for a million BUCKS and got a million DUCKS!" The guy looks at him and explains, "Yeah, do you really think I asked for a 12 inch pianist?"