The Worst Autograph I’ve Ever Seen (Beckett Article)

[Midnight]

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By David Lee, Editor, Beckett Football

I first met Texans rookie running back Vernand Morency under the Upper Deck autograph tent at the Rookie Premiere Photo Shoot at the L.A. Coliseum. Wearing his NFL uniform for the first time, Morency was enjoying the shade, sitting in a chair, slightly reclined and cocked to the right.

Before I could introduce myself and hit him with the “How does it feel to see yourself on your own Rookie Card?” question, I noticed that he was signing a sheet of stickers for his upcoming Upper Deck cards. At least it appeared he was signing...but on closer inspection, it was more like he was making his mark.

Swiftly flicking his wrist while holding a blue pen, Morency was making quick work of the sheet of stickers, issuing nothing more than a sloppy checkmark – like the one seen on his new SPx Rookie Card. He looked like an elementary school teacher grading papers. At first, I honestly thought he was just checking the pen to see if the ink was flowing. But after about 10 consistent flicks, I realized that the checkmark – or the occasional “V” followed by a short line – was his autograph.

I don't know who I felt worse for: Upper Deck, who was paying Morency to sign, or the collectors who eventually would pull one of these garbage ’graphs.

It was the same story for autographs he later inked for Donruss/Playoff and Topps, two other manufacturers also in attendance at the Rookie Premiere.

We’ve all seen some bad give-up autographs in this hobby. Michael Vick’s “MV 7,” Chad Johnson’s “Ch,” LaMont Jordan’s squiggly lines. Many younger players are issuing boring-to- downright-lazy autographs, but Morency’s is absolutely the worst I have ever come across.

It can’t get any worse, can it? But maybe I’m overreacting. Heck, I’m still waiting on a player to come into the league whose autograph is his full name in print.

It’s tough to blame anyone for the declining quality of the certified autograph.

Can you blame the players? They sign thousands of autographs at a time for the card companies, and that doesn’t include the thousands more they sign for fans or memorabilia companies. As of mid-September, Alex Smith, the No. 1 pick in the draft, had more than 40 autographed cards, including all inserts and parallels. (Oh, and as of Week 2, he still hasn’t thrown a pass in an NFL game).

Can you blame the card companies? They are constantly under pressure to put more value in their boxes – and that means plenty of autographs. Sometimes, that results in over-saturation, but it’s not like they have a lot of other choices.

Can you blame the collectors? They spend a ton of cash on packs and boxes expecting to get their money’s worth. How do they feel when they buy a box and pull one of Tatum Bell’s ’graphs – you know, that mass of chaos that looks like a two-year-old held the pen?

What can be done about it? Well, to start, the card companies can demand better signatures. They are the paying customer, after all. Don't they have the right then to demand a certain level of quality? It will be up to them to determine a good signature from a give-up, and if it’s the latter, then no check. It’s tough to “make” a player sign a decent ’graph, but it’s worth a shot. Nothing will be done, however, if collectors don’t speak up.

This unfortunate decline in autograph attractiveness has no doubt swung attention toward much better looking retired player signatures. Dan Marino, John Elway, Joe Namath and the late Johnny Unitas all have autographed cards that have been as hot as ever during the past year.

In particular, Unitas’ 2000 Topps Reprint Autographs are popping up online more often and are bringing in close to $200 - high Price Guide value. Marino and Elway led the way in the ultra hot 2004 Upper Deck Legends Legendary Signatures. Both SPs, the Marino currently books for $400, while the Elway is a strong $500.

In our November issue of Beckett Football (on sale October 24), we’ll look deeper into how the hobby can help improve the current state of the autograph card. In the mean time, I dare anyone to find a bigger give-up ’graph than Morency's.

[new8403]

WOW. Look at the effort and techniques used. That's amazing. Actually that is just nothing but being lazy, nothing more.

[kr580]

Haha... hey, it's unique. Will be alot of fake autos if he ever becomes something, I can tell you that much.

[LakersMC]

Yeah, I read that article. That is one crappy 'graph.
I actually wanted to write an article about the quality of autographs in packs versus in-person. Never got around to it...

[pr0phet]

Thanks for the read.

Jay

[chum]

personally i would have a problem signing my name many many times.

whomever consistantly have good signatures really put in a lot of effort to do it, i think.

[TurdFerguson]

personally i would have a problem signing my name many many times.

But these guys are getting paid to sign these cards, so I don't think it's too much to ask for a legible signature. I'd rather see a guy sign 50 cards that you can read instead of 500 that look like a 2 year old scribbled on the card.

[palantri]

while we are on the subject of awful autos- heres one- Shawn Marion- the guys sig is a squiggle, which really is awful when you pick up like 3 of his autos in one day...

[BenRoethlisberger]

Did anyone ever think that maybe he doesn't know how to sign his name?

The way these young star athletes go through high school and college (without even opening a book) it would not surprise me that he even know's how to sign his name. Unless.... there's some evidence of other auto's signed by him?

[Seablazer]

I have the same pet peeve about Auto cards... It's a pain in the butt to pull an Auto, only to see a crappy auto...

I am collecting Angel Berroa autos and have got to say that he is one of the best signers..All autos clearly legible!!
I'd say his signatures break down like this:
40% he signs "Angel Berroa"
30% "Angel Berroa 4"
30% "Angel Berroa 4, ROY 03"

Excellent sig!

I would be pissed to pull a Vernand auto... UD and all card companies should require at least some legibility when autos are signed.