DEFENSE! *clap clap* DEFENSE! *clap clap*
Welp, I’d be lying if I said the opening slate of games were memorable, or even somewhat interesting. Each and every one of these games panned out exactly how you thought it would. Blowout wins all over the scoreboards. BOOOOOORRINGGG. However, if you’re a big fan of defensive strategy and defensive touchdowns, then this was the week to watch football. Cleveland, Kansas City, Dallas, Washington, and Atlanta all scored defensive touchdowns during the first wave of games, while Tennessee peppered in four interceptions of their own.
Oh, you thought that Kansas City vs Las Vegas would be a well fought divisional matchup? Well you thought WRONG! It took Kansas City about 8 seconds to blow the top off this game with a fumble recovery that was returned for a 23 yard tuddy. KC kept their foot on the gas by scoring 35 unanswered points, and keeping Derek Carr under unbearable pressure. KC forced five turnovers, got their running game involved with three rushing touchdowns, and Patrick Mahomes is back to his old self even though he didn’t really need to be in this one. The defending AFC champs have been questioned all year on the defensive side of the ball, but I think they successfully shut up all of the critics with this performance. KC moves to 9-4 on the season with this 48-9 blowout.
Sorry Carolina fans, I hope you didn’t think Super Cam could save this hideous season of yours. The former MVP started out hot, but unfortunately threw a pick 6 before eventually being benched for P.J. Walker. Yeah, try telling me in 2015 that in only 6 years time Cam Newton would have had a stint with New England before being replaced by a rookie, then returning to Carolina to be benched for P.J. WALKER?!? Does that not sound like complete nonsense? Anyways, there was absolutely nothing special about this game. Cordarrelle Patterson scored another touchdown as the league’s best utility player, and Atlanta wins this divisional matchup 29-21. *yawn*
Did you place your bets on Houston to beat Seattle? Well, then I feel bad for you. What were you thinking? Did you not read my blog last week saying how BAD they are? Honestly, Davis Mills had a great game for Houston with 323 yards and a TD, but it was not enough to take out Russell Wilson and the Seahawks. Tyler Lockett demonstrated elite speed with five catches for 142 yards and a touchdown, while Rashaad Penny (yes, Rashaad Penny) finished the game with 137 yards and 2 touchdowns. Seattles dismantles Houston 33-13.
Speaking of bad teams, the Jets and Jags also played this week, and it seems like they’re in a competition to see just how unwatchable they can make football for their fans. The Jags got shut out by the Titans, who didn’t necessarily play that great, but you don’t have to play great to beat the Jags (unless you’re the Buffalo Bills, I guess). The prized rookie Trevor Lawrence showed that he is exactly that: a rookie. The Clemson product threw four interceptions in this ugly game, and they lose 20-0. Other prized rookie, Zach Wilson, also struggled mightily vs. the saints as the Jets injury riddled offense could not get anything going. Wilson threw for 202 yards with no picks, but completed less than 50% of his passes as the jets could not find the end zone a single time. And the jets defense is just flat out BAD; In the famous words of Bart Scott, they “can’t stop a nose bleed”! However, some credit can go towards how freakishly talented Alvin Kamara is as he finished the game with 145 total yards and a tuddy. He’s also a pretty cool dude and you can chase his rookie card in our 2017 Football Products. Jets fall to the saints 30-9.
Another divisional matchup between the Ravens and Browns went to the Browns as the hyper talented Lamar Jackson gets carted off the field with a scary ankle injury. Tyler Huntley does what he can to dig the Ravens out of a monster truck sized hole, and he got oh so close. The Ravens recover the dreaded onside kick, but are unable to get in field goal range and fall to the Browns 24-22. The Browns keep their wild card hopes alive.
The Cowboys almost blew it against the Football Team, and how funny would that have been for “America’s favorite team”? The Football Team was down 27-8 for a majority of the game before scoring an offensive and defensive touchdown with less than five minutes left. Kyle Allen, who replaced Taylor Heinicke following an injury, had an opportunity to be the football team’s hero with three minutes left in the game, but he unfortunately fumbled the ball away and the Redskins fall to the Cowboys 27-20. Oh, and btw, if Micah Parsons is not your defensive rookie of the year, then you’re a hater and need to get over yourself. Chase the defensive stud’s rookie card in the 2021 Football Products we have available.
The second wave of games proved to be slightly more exciting, with the 49ers and Bengals getting things started. When you take two hot and cold teams who are fighting for a wild card spot in their respective conferences, it typically makes for exciting football. The stars came to play in this one, with Deebo Samuel and George Kittle scoring touchdowns for the niners in regulation, and THE Ja’Marr Chase scoring TWO fourth quarter touchdowns to force OT. Oh, and if Ja’Marr Chase isn’t your rookie of the year, then you’re a hater and need to get over yourself. Evan McPherson kicked a 41 yard field goal in OT to put the Bengals up by 3, but Brandon Aiyuk decided to spoil all of the fun by catching a 12 yard walk off TD from Jimmy G. Bengals fall to the 49ers 26-23, bringing both team’s records to 7-6 on the year.
Beautiful sight at the beginning of the Denver-Detroit game, as Denver lines up with only ten men on the field in memory of the late great, Demaryius Thomas. They took the delay of game penalty, and Detroit declined out of respect. THIS IS WHY WE LOVE FOOTBALL. Just bringing a grown man to tears. But was the game exciting? Absolutely not. The Broncos ran all over Detroit’s defense to the tune of 184 yards and 3 touchdowns, which reminds me, Javonte Williams is scary good, and you can hunt for his rookie card in all of our 2021 Football Products. Broncos beat the Lions 38-10. RIP DT