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07-25-2009, 10:39 PM #1
Etiquette Tips for Spezza's Wedding
The big talk in Ottawa this week has been about the Jason Spezza wedding, and the question of how the media should handle an appearance by Dany Heatley. Local media debated the delicate question of whether it was appropriate to use the occasion to ask Heatley about his trade demands.
That question is moot now, since Heatley has decided not to show up. But the wedding will still be a major social event featuring plenty of NHL personalities, and that means there will be any number of etiquette questions that attendees may need help sorting through.
I know that several DGB readers are planning to attend this weekend's ceremony. So to help avoid any embarrassment, here's a handy etiquette guide. Feel free to print it out and take it with you.
No matter how adorable he looks in his little tuxedo, DO NOT tell Cory Clouston that you're sure he'll do a great job as ring boy.
DO NOT linger and stare at Wade Redden as he hands out programs at the front door, even though it will be the first time you've seen him actually do anything in two years.
If you see a hockey player who's sobbing and crying constantly, DO NOT assume that they're overcome with the emotion of the ceremony. It could also be Sidney Crosby.
When Bryan Murray is invited up to do the traditional readings from Ephesians, Colossians and Ecclesiastes, DO put on your raincoat.
When Spezza makes his vow to remain forever faithful, DO NOT laugh when Daniel Alfredsson leans over and whispers "I guarantee it".
DO be understanding if there's confusion on the groom's side during the exchange of rings. Remember, they're Ottawa Senators -- none of them have ever seen a ring before.
When the minister delivers his sermon on the importance of honoring commitments, DO NOT interrupt him to point out that the phrase "overpaid, one-eyed, gap-toothed, cherry picking glory boy" does not actually appear in the bible.
If you see Brian Burke at the reception, DO alert security. He wasn't invited, he just automatically shows up anywhere he thinks there might be a live microphone.
DO NOT get stuck behind Kyle Wellwood in the buffet line. This isn't really etiquette, but it will prevent you from starving to death.
Occasional place setting mixups are to be expected at a crowded reception. DO NOT make a big deal out of the fact that everyone has a cup except Marian Hossa.
No matter how nice his tuxedo looks, DO NOT ask Mike Comrie which ventriloquist supply store he got it at.
If you are seated next to Mike Fisher and Carrie Underwood, DO NOT repeatedly refer to her as "the poor man's Jessica Simpson". One time is enough.
If the bride informs you that they're planning an extended honeymoon in August, DO NOT create an awkward situation by turning to Spezza and saying "Wait, won't that interfere with you attending the Canadian Olympic team training camp?"
If you run into Martin Gerber at the reception, DO NOT ask him if he enjoyed the ceremony. He's actually just there to bus tables.
If you are Eugene Melnyk, no matter how much you want to create a sense of excitement and team spirit, DO NOT hire the gladiator guy to stand next to Spezza's honeymoon bed shouting "RISE UP!"
From a blog: http://www.downgoesbrown.com/2009/07...a-wedding.html
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07-25-2009, 10:56 PM #2
Very amusing read! Thanks for posting.
My favorite:
DO NOT linger and stare at Wade Redden as he hands out programs at the front door, even though it will be the first time you've seen him actually do anything in two years.
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07-25-2009, 10:58 PM #3
I think that's one of my favorites too!!!!!!
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07-25-2009, 11:09 PM #4
If you see a hockey player who's sobbing and crying constantly, DO NOT assume that they're overcome with the emotion of the ceremony. It could also be Sidney Crosby.
If you see Brian Burke at the reception, DO alert security. He wasn't invited, he just automatically shows up anywhere he thinks there might be a live microphone.
Couple of my favorites lol
Last edited by TysonX504; 07-26-2009 at 12:41 AM.
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07-26-2009, 12:26 AM #5Assistant General Manager
Thanks for sharing as it was a funny read.
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07-27-2009, 11:44 AM #6
lol that was a good read.
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07-27-2009, 12:11 PM #7
lol the funny thing is I didn't even know he was getting married until I saw the cover of the paper yesterday.
I love the
"DO NOT linger and stare at Wade Redden as he hands out programs at the front door, even though it will be the first time you've seen him actually do anything in two years."
I bet he was handing them out to people who weren't even there for the wedding lol
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07-27-2009, 03:56 PM #8Assistant General Manager
Now that is bad poor Wedden!!
don
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07-28-2009, 05:16 PM #9
thats was hilarious.
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07-30-2009, 06:18 PM #10
HA! Great read - thanks for posting.. but as a Leafs fan I've got to say the best one was:
DO be understanding if there's confusion on the groom's side during the exchange of rings. Remember, they're Ottawa Senators -- none of them have ever seen a ring before.
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Originally Posted by hossa18sens 
