Marriage discussion

[schwood]

Speaking of cheating I'm not going to call anyone out and ask if they ever cheated on their spouse. You can answer if you like but the question that I am going to ask is would you forgive your spouse if she cheated on you? Or even worse if she cheated and got pregnant by another man?

My first instinct is that I would tell her to hit the road. I was up front with my wife, as she was, that if there was any cheating, that would be the end of it. I think it is completely unacceptable in a loving trusting relationship. Again, this is just my two cents. Some may disagree. Which is totally cool. Just my take on it.

Am I morally wrong because my ol lady & I have been living together for over 10 years, have 3 children together & don't plan on separating til death makes us? Our state recognizes us as Common-Law husband & wife. I just see the need to be married especially since over 60% of all marriages end in divorce.

I don't think so at all. I lived with my wife for a year before we got married. Like it was said before by someone else, I have always felt that living together was a logical step if you were planning on getting marrie. I always believed that living together was something that can put a lot of pressure on a relationship and something you need to 'feel out' before taking that final step in a relationship if that is where you want to go.

I have a question. When someone mentions a stat like this one, does it actually have anything to do with marriage.

I mean, I know you can't get divorced without being married first, but do people who live together but do not sign that piece of paper have a better chance at going the distance?
Basically I'm asking, and there's really no way to answer, is it that 60% of marriages end in divorce or 60% of couples eventually break up?

I would say, that this is about impossible to tell. I just don't think there is any study on this. I will throw this out there, and this is kind of the extreme, but has anyone ever been in one and only one relationship in their lives? And also, for those that have lived with someone and not been married, have they only ever lived with one partner in their life? I just think it would be tough to come up with a set of parameters to allow for a given relationship to be considered in some sort of study I guess. Not sure that even makes sense, but wanted to get my thoughts down.

Again, and I keep saying this, it is nice and refreshing to see a discussion on such a typically hot and debated topic stay tame and friendly. Especially with so many having such differing views. Let's keep this going this way.

[Wickabee]

I would say, that this is about impossible to tell. I just don't think there is any study on this. I will throw this out there, and this is kind of the extreme, but has anyone ever been in one and only one relationship in their lives? And also, for those that have lived with someone and not been married, have they only ever lived with one partner in their life? I just think it would be tough to come up with a set of parameters to allow for a given relationship to be considered in some sort of study I guess. Not sure that even makes sense, but wanted to get my thoughts down.

Exactly my point. People love to say "More than half of all marriages end in divorce, so I'm never getting married" as if 100% of relationships without marriage go the distance. It might turn out that 60% of marriages may end in divorce, but 90% of all relationships end in a break-up. That would make marriage look pretty good. Since we don't have stats on all relationships, pulling out the 60% divorce rate is pretty much meaningless.

[schwood]

Exactly my point. People love to say "More than half of all marriages end in divorce, so I'm never getting married" as if 100% of relationships without marriage go the distance. It might turn out that 60% of marriages may end in divorce, but 90% of all relationships end in a break-up. That would make marriage look pretty good. Since we don't have stats on all relationships, pulling out the 60% divorce rate is pretty much meaningless.

Gotcha. Didn't think about it that way. Good point.

Interesting topic to think about.

[joee5]

if I could do it all over again, I would stay single and tell my kids to do the same thing. Just saying is all.

[mrveggieman]

if I could do it all over again, I would stay single and tell my kids to do the same thing. Just saying is all.

Wow, interesting....

[texansrangerfan73]

Exactly my point. People love to say "More than half of all marriages end in divorce, so I'm never getting married" as if 100% of relationships without marriage go the distance. It might turn out that 60% of marriages may end in divorce, but 90% of all relationships end in a break-up. That would make marriage look pretty good. Since we don't have stats on all relationships, pulling out the 60% divorce rate is pretty much meaningless.

No it don't mean that non-married couple stay together forever but it does ensure that there is no alimony to pay & she or the other half isn't gonna take you to the cleaners. I was merely basing the 60% from statistics & from my own personal with my parents & many friends parents as I was growing up. We must also understand that when a couple become 1 heart that your/her or their debts become yours & yours become theirs.

[Wickabee]

No it don't mean that non-married couple stay together forever but it does ensure that there is no alimony to pay & she or the other half isn't gonna take you to the cleaners. I was merely basing the 60% from statistics & from my own personal with my parents & many friends parents as I was growing up. We must also understand that when a couple become 1 heart that your/her or their debts become yours & yours become theirs.

But if we take away all the financial aspects of marriage, we're left with a stat that means absolutely nothing.

[mrveggieman]

No it don't mean that non-married couple stay together forever but it does ensure that there is no alimony to pay & she or the other half isn't gonna take you to the cleaners. I was merely basing the 60% from statistics & from my own personal with my parents & many friends parents as I was growing up. We must also understand that when a couple become 1 heart that your/her or their debts become yours & yours become theirs.

If you have a common law marriage and it ends Im pretty sure that one if not both parties could sue for alimony. I know that child support will come into play if children are involved.

[texansrangerfan73]

But if we take away all the financial aspects of marriage, we're left with a stat that means absolutely nothing.

Ok forget the debts parts. Here is an eye opening site http://www.meninmarriage.com/article05.htm

[texansrangerfan73]

If you have a common law marriage and it ends Im pretty sure that one if not both parties could sue for alimony. I know that child support will come into play if children are involved.

This is true even between boyfriend/girlfriend that don't live together or aren't common law married. I believe Texas threw out the alimony & splitting of possessions in common law marriages a few years back.