POLITICal correctness

[Wickabee]

I think I rigged the title so that this flies (or at least make some sort of impotent point).

Anyway...

I'm here to talk about POLITICal correctness (okay, that's twice, I'll stop). I don't like PC and never have, but that doesn't mean I don't see the need for it.

Now, I'm sure some people here already know I love discussions about racial issues. I'm a white guy living in a town of white guys and natives, who previously lived in a town with 3 (count them THREE) black people, 2 (count them TWO) natives and 2 (coun...sorry) asians...I think there was an Indian there too. Anyway, really white. I grew up watching racism on TV in all the "very special episodes" that weren't about drinking/drugs, but I never lived it. Those seven people faced zero discrimination I ever saw (case in point, one of the black kids mugged a friend of mine and it took 45 minutes of describing him to get to "oh, and he was black" which probably doesn't say much for my friend's respect for time, but does for her view of different races. Anyway...). It interests me. I moved (back...long story) to a town with a large Native population and started to see some racism. I saw what can be perceived as racism in all age groups, but the only "real" racism was in the older crowd. The younger made the jokes and whatnot, but the older crowd lived it (though not to the point of violence). That's how I saw it then. I didn't make the connect that joking around when younger turns into living the attitude of those jokes later on, if focused on. Which brings me to my main point and my unique angle (because everyone has one) on political correctness.

For the first 27 years of my life, the only thing I had to look forward to was becoming politically incorrect by simple definition the moment I turned 30. Why? I'm a white male. A female is supposed to feel empowered by her gender. Now, I don't disagree with that at all, but if I was to say the same thing about males, I'd be lynched (metaphorically, I'm sure I can outrun a bunch of dames HEY-YO!...sorry ladies, I'll get back on point and I didn't mean it). Another example is that a black man saying "Black Power" is applauded. I wonder what would happen if I went out in public and shouted "White Power"...funny how the same basic sentence can mean two completely different things.

Anyway, I had nothing to look forward to but that until my 27th birthday. That day I experienced the first of a series of symptoms that would, 10 days later, be found to be a Multiple Sclerosis attack. Just to assure everyone, I've seen the MRI with my own eyes, it wasn't a misdiagnosis at all. When I was first told, I felt sick. Then, when the initial shock wore off, I felt fine. I still couldn't see properly or walk or talk properly, but now that I knew it was basically faulty wiring inside me that was causing it, I felt otherwise fine. No real changes.

Fast forward to an incident on these very boards. A few months back, someone (who most likely did not know, but may have, about my condition) called me retarded. I've been called retarded, but this time something hit me. It didn't bother me at all. I felt like it should have bothered me, I mean, you don't call a retard a retard, right? That's what I thought up to that point.

(I'm just going to make a sidenote here and show that I am human and with fault. I hated it before and was against it on principle alone, but now that I have reason to, I have to tell all my white friends that being able to say, "You can't use that word! That's OUR word!" is kind of fun. Not to say I do it for fun, that would be reta...er, stupid. Just that when it bugs me and I do say it, it's nice to not be hearing it after 27 years. My apologies and I hope that doesn't lose me any credibility but, let's be honest, I had none to begin with. Okay, back to the show...)

But this didn't bug me. I've been called much worse than a retard by much better than anyone who would call someone a retard. I figured out that, anyone, knowing or not, who is going to call me a retard, probably isn't the best authority on the subject along with multitudes of others. I don't care what he (was that sexist?) thinks. I actually thought I'd proven to myself the word holds no power. How wrong I was.

A few days later, I was talking to my wife about something or other that I thought was stupid and I said "it's completely retarded." Imagine my surprise when my own remark offended me! The conversation ended right on that word and I suddenly had something very personal to think about. My entire viewpoint of a word, and words are my favourite things on this earth or any other, flipped completely.

You see, I, Like most others, was of the mind that something really stupid is "retarded". I thought the word meant "really, really stupid", despite the fact of knowing the root origins of the word along with its past use and true dictionary meaning. In fact, let's look at that right now.

-Looking at "retarded" it is the past tense of "retard" and also a descriptive word as in "he is retarded", with the exact same root and meaning. It's a French word meaning "slow down" so "retarded" literally means "slowed down".-

Read that again. Is stupid anywhere in there?

So then, is the "you don't call a retard retarded" idea true? To a degree, yes. The same way you don't call a child born out of wedlock a ba...(oops, that's not allowed here...) anyway, you get the picture. The thing is, in both cases, using those words may make you a jerk. It may make you a lot of things but the one thing it won't make you is incorrect.

I have MS. I am, by definition of the word, retarded. My condition slows me down physically and mentally. It hasn't stolen my intillect, rather, my ability to get it out at times, as well as my ability to carry it around, at times.

Call me a retard. Seriously, I do not care one bit. If I already know you, my reaction will depend on our existing relationship. If I don't know you, I'll assume you have a very small vocabulary with a mind to match until proven otherwise. Please do not, however, look at something stupid and call it retarded. It means you think it's as stupid as me, and I'm as stupid as it, for a reason I have no control over.

Now it's at this point that I have to apologize to alex a bit. You see, I'm still, to this day, as guilty as anyone of using that word in that context. The term was actually meant to be clinical, but so was spastic mongoloid. But I, knowingly, use it. I do my best not to, and I'm darn sure not to use it around anyone I don't know, but I use it. I use it because I've always used it and, well, old habits die hard. Alex, I did make a bit of an example of you for a point and I'm sorry for that, it wasn't fair (and had nothing to do with it being you). With that said, I stand by my point as more than valid (I was genuinely offended, though probably not as much as everyone thinks) and I hope you can see the point for what it is past who is saying it. Again, I apologize.

Now, I'm not stupid (though I am ret...nevermind). I know people are always going to use that word in that context in their own homes and in private, etc, etc. It doesn't bother me. I'll be perfectly honest, while I don't throw it around willy-nilly and I don't use it in a derogatory manner, I say the N word more than I probably should (which would be never) in my own home. I'm just not afraid to use the word if that's the word I want to use. You'll have to trust me that I don't use it in a derogatory manner because I'm not going to go into some kind of "Oh, I have black friends so I'm not racist!" kind of non-apology. I use the word in the privacy of my own home and I'm not too good to be honest about it. I will also, in my car with the windows rolled up, not censor myself during an OutKast song. Sue me.

For the record I don't have any black friends. Some native, but none black. I used to be friends with one of the three black kids when I was growing up, but I haven't seen him in years. The black kid I knew best after moving here (and there are not many here either remember) was a ™™™™ and a thief, but that had nothing to do with black. His dad was a helluva nice guy to me for years.

Anyway, my point is don't go nuts. If you're joking around with friends and someone, or you, says "Are you retarded?!" don't go bananas. No one cares what you say then, least of all me. When you're saying something with a point though, something you have put thought into and believe. Even if it's something as simple as a bad TV show, please don't equate me with the stupidity of a show about dinosaurs running around Vancouver (Primeval. Check it out. So bad it's this close to being good). At the same time, you don't have to strike the word from your vocabulary completely, just officially.

It is just a word, let's not be retarded about it.

Now, to turn this into a little more of a discussion, I've admitted to, occasionally, using the N word in the privacy of my own home. I see nothing wrong with it myself. It's not directed at anyone and it is usually in a "hey look at me I'm a stupid racist" satirical kind of way, but I do understand how this confession could make someone, likely African-American, but possibly not, look at me a little differently. I understand how it might be respectable to actually admit this fact instead of hide it like so many "racially sensitive" individuals do. I also understand how it may make some look at me as a closet racist. I get it, but at the same time I don't. I don't understand how using it in a positive or benign (read: non-negative) way is offensive. How could I? So without singling anyone out, I'm hoping maybe an African American can shed some light on this. At the same time, if you want to talk about how POLITICal correctness (just a reminder) relates to you either as a member or non member of any of "these" groups who have "these" words associated with them, please feel free to share. I'm hoping by using words, we can maybe take the power out of them.

I'd sure like to not feel stupid every time something is "retarded" because really, when you think about it...

...it's retarded...oops.

[ajcorleone]

That was a very honest speech.And one thing i will agree with

Another example is that a black man saying "Black Power" is applauded. I wonder what would happen if I went out in public and shouted "White Power"...funny how the same basic sentence can mean two completely different things.

There always is a double standard for everything in life and that is a shame.

[pwaldo]

Words are just words. It should be how you use them that matters and not what the word is all the time. Somebody can be offensive with no offensive words said way more than somebody just saying a word because the first person had a hateful tone to what they said. This is kinda hard to tell on the Internet because you are only reading text and people always take things the wrong way because you don't know what the means. Joking, serious, etc. But that's one of the reasons why when people take the quote of what somebody said you have to take it with a grain of salt because you aren't getting the context which is the most important thing but that seems to be lost on people now.

Then again I don't get upset easily when people call me stuff so that's just my take I guess. I'm more of a give the person the benefit of the doubt because if you genuinely threw everyone in jail for saying something that's considered non PC today you wouldn't have anybody on the streets in a month easily.

[Wickabee]

But what about when use of the word is offensive in a non personal way. Like calling something stupid "retarded" ends up meaning everyone with a mental illness is stupid?

The point is in knowing what you're saying before you say it. If you think something someone is doing is stupid, say that. It's kind of like calling something gay because it doesn't work right or serves a useless purpose. Nix that. It's exactly the same.

It takes a word that is supposed to be a simple descriptive and turns it into a negative. That negative is then placed back on anyone who can be described, properly, with that word. It's tough to see the connect until you're in it.

It's about knowing what the words you're using mean. Nothing more, nothing less.

[habsheaven]

For the record, I no longer use the "R" word since a lifelong friend explained the hurt felt by her DS child. I have used the "N" word once or twice, as a child when I did not know any better. I rarely use the "F" word. Might have used it 100 times in my 47 years. I have a very low opinion of people who feel the need to use the "F" word as their only adjective.

[Wickabee]

For the record, I no longer use the "R" word since a lifelong friend explained the hurt felt by her DS child. I have used the "N" word once or twice, as a child when I did not know any better. I rarely use the "F" word. Might have used it 100 times in my 47 years. I have a very low opinion of people who feel the need to use the "F" word as their only adjective.

On this particular note, I don't censor myself from swearing, except in front of "mixed company" or children and I don't swear uselessly, as in, like, I don't, like, drop swear words, like, the way that, like, most , like, teenagers drop, like, like.

[mrveggieman]

Not to veer off topic but how many people are honest enough to admit using those words when they are joking around with their friends?

[Star_Cards]

I've used the word retarded in the past, but use it much these days. I'd say that I used the word "gay" the most back in high school and college. Now I just use it to describe things that are actually gay and not the what a lot of people use it for to define something as stupid. Usually I say it to my gay friends when they say something gay. lol. The only time I say the N word is when I'm singing a song and the artist uses the word, but I still feel uncomfortable and would never say it in the company of another person and even when singing alone I try to replace the word. I've actually asked a few of my black friends about that and how they feel about that scenario. I've had mixed opinions. I have been known to use the F word rather frequently in the right situations. Never at work, around kids, or in public. Mostly out drinking with friends or at home. I have said the F word from time to time in front of my mom. lol

Some people see any sort of tolerant like not saying certain words that offend at political correctness and sort of connect that with being negative. I think most instances of being PC are good and it shows that people are willing to educate themselves about how words can hurt deeply even when they may not mean them to hurt at all. A lot of words get popular and kids say them without thinking about the people who they hurt. I've told the story about me saying the N word to describe a radio station and what type of music they play at a table in my elementary art class where a black friend was sitting. I used the word because the kids in my neighborhood used it at times. I knew it had a negative tone but really didn't get the hurt it can case until I saw the kids reaction and I felt horrible. I've never used that word in that manner since (outside of singing song lyrics to myself). The bottom line is that PC has taken on this negative form of being an invention of liberals or the softening of america or what have you. While there are some extremes of it, the base is rooted in tolerance and education of different cultures, people, and the like.

[Kosmo kards]

Having MS doesn't diminish you as a person in any way. You're so right though, you shouldn't take what anybody says about you seriously. We are grown men, who cares what someone you've never met says about you on the internet. Some people take the internet way too seriously.

It blows my mind how people are offended by a random internet post by someone they have never met. I know that generation cupcake is in full affect, but I had no idea it had gotten so bad to now people see the internet as "real life" and can't handle someone not agreeing with their opinion with the addition of people seeming to think that they are good people because of what they post on the internet but not doing anything good for others in their actual real life.

I got reemed out on blowout yesterday because I stated that people shouldn't take random words on the internet so seriously and what is posted on the internet doesn't actually mean anything in the "real world." Boy was that a mistake haha. Apparently people have become so weak and insecure that they take words on an internet forum seriously and can't understand an internet forum has no bearing on the real world. How sad. Being politically correct is a garbage philosophy.

[mrveggieman]

Good points. Also some people are internet gangstas and post all types of racist and hateful things that they would never have the stones to say to someone in public. I don't lose any sleep over those type of people. I make good use of block/delete and ignore feautres on different websites.